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But some used this form of effortless escapism while their spouse was in the room, she said.Said one such man, "While I'm on the computer my wife just assumes I'm writing a report for work." Another man said his wife, who knew what he was doing and didn't like it, looked over his shoulder sometimes while he was typing, Mileham said.Several participants indicated they divulged more about themselves to online partners than to their wives or husbands."We started chatting about life, our marriage, what we like to eat, what sexual positions we like the best," wrote one man to Mileham.One 66-year-old man ended up having 13 affairs this way, she said.Research shows that more males than females use chat rooms, said Mileham, who found it difficult to get women to respond to her survey.Females are usually bombarded with messages and can pick and choose which messages they respond to, she said.
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Some went online for a quick "sex fix," while others established more meaningful connections where they talked about personal problems, marital issues and things like that, Mileham said. Still others wanted to engage in cybersex, exchanging sexual fantasies with someone while masturbating, she said.
"I felt like I've known her in another life." Mileham believes the time has come for the Internet to become as essential a part of pre-marital discussions as is whether or not to have children.